The Simulacrum

~Chapter 147~ Part 2

This situation was calling for one of those similes. Stuff like 'the tension of the room felt like a whole piano's worth of wires just before the big concert', or 'the silence lingered like a wafting stink in an overcrowded elevator no one wanted to own up to', or maybe even 'everyone's gazes were filled with the anxiety of a conventionally attractive female horror movie protagonist hearing the slowly mounting violins of the soundtrack'. Stuff like that.

I wasn't having any of it today.

"I said sit down," I echoed myself, this time a bit more forcefully, and pointed at the free seats. "I'm already annoyed that I have to waste my evening on you, so don't test my patience any further."

Surprisingly enough, Mensah and Savir didn't object, and just obediently settled down around the table. That was a start.

"Lor Po—?"

"Yes, the Colossi are fine. Shut up." After cutting Mensah off before he could get started again, I glanced around, and mentally prepared myself by once again adopting my 'disappointed principal' act. "I'm sure you already know why I had all of you come here, so let's not beat around the bush. I'm going to explain to you what's going to happen, you'll listen carefully, and once I'm done, you can ask your questions. In moderation. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," Tsephanyah responded with a hint of a smirk, apparently enjoying the fact that he was one step ahead of his apprehensive colleagues.

"Good. Let's not drag this out then. First off, I'm getting rid of the Directorate as a governmental body. That means, starting next month, your demotions are going to be effectively permanent due to the role of 'Director' no longer existing." I could see that Savir wanted to interject, but a quick glare in her direction made her reconsider. "Bearing in mind your disastrous recent performance, I'm sure you aren't surprised by this, but I wanted to make sure we have an understanding. Unfortunately, incompetence isn't a crime, and I have neither the time nor the patience to make it one, so I can't just lock you up forever. It would be a bit of a waste anyway, so here's what we're going to do. You three." I paused for effect and glanced at each of them in turn. "You are going to be 'promoted' into official honorary advisors for life, providing your so-called 'wisdom' to Deus and I. What that means in practice is that you'll have a nice office, a pension, and the admiration of the public. What you won't have is any legislative or executive power, direct influence over the workings of the government, or much privacy, lest you start working yourself into a frenzy over your idiotic conspiracies again. You'll simply stand by our side whenever we're in public, smile, and give advice that we'll summarily ignore unless it's one of those 'even a broken clock is right twice a day' situations. Any questions?"

"That's too excessive!" Savir objected right away, more or less as expected.

"That wasn't a question," I pointed out, trying to sound as flat and detached as possible, followed by a theatrical sigh. "No, Eris. Do you know what's excessive? Sending a CIEL squad into an open combat theatre without proper instructions and nearly sparking a war with the Assembly when they attack the arch-mage on the scene. That's what I call excessive."

I expected her to argue back, but she just bit her lip and averted her gaze. What's that? Did she maybe reflect on her idiotic behaviour during her house arrest? Was that maybe a hint of a smidgen of a dash of remorse I was seeing?

Nah. Don't give her the benefit of the doubt. That's how you get disappointed. At most, she was probably feeling vulnerable for the first time in ages, and so she was holding back. Probably. I was no psychologist, but I had seen enough of her to get a gist of how the hamsters in her head were spinning her gears.

"What about Bel of the Abyss?" Mensah interrupted the momentary lull, sounding about as grave as he could be under the circumstances.

"You see, Eris? That's what a question sounds like," I heckled her a bit more and then turned to the bespectacled ex-director. "As for the answer to it, I'll say the same thing I told you the last time we all talked like this: he's not someone you should concern yourself with."

"Meaning, the Lord Archon is planning to take care of him," Tsephanyah noted, and after some consideration, I weakly nodded.

"That's the plan, yes."

I wasn't lying per se. Accidental it might have been or not, I had invoked Bel and set him up as the enigmatic grand villain of our so-called 'scenario'. There was no way to stuff that cat back into the bag, especially after I broke the original Plot and Angie/Deus officially recognized him as the second coming of the Abyssal Emperor.

Granted, I had no idea exactly how I was going to spin his villainy. Not yet, in any case. I was too busy putting out fires as they flared up and stomping out embers at the moment, so figuring out the exact mechanics and logic of our new Plot and its villain was for another day.

"Good! We can't let this ancient menace to Elysium run free, when we are—!"

"Dolion, can you please shut up?" Savir hissed with a hand on her forehead. "We can talk about that after we finished discussing the repercussions of our promotions."

"Repercussions," I repeated after her in a monotonous voice, and she looked me in the eye, her expression firm and her gaze frosty.

"Listen, Polemos. I understand that you're… displeased with our conduct, but I implore you to reconsider this course of action."

"I see you still have a hard time applying question marks to your sentences. Oh well." Shrugging, I assumed my patented Mastermind Pose™ by making a tent with my fingers in front of my chest. "Fine. I bite. Speak your mind."

Feeling emboldened by my allowance, Savir defiantly crossed her arms and let out a soft huff.

"We are both keenly aware that you're highly averse to minor problems that may distract you from your ongoing designs and commitments."

"Ah, yes," Tsephanyah interjected in a disinterested voice as he reached for the tea kettle again and refilled his cup. "Such as how you attempted to blackmail Lord Polemos in the past by threatening to…" He took a sip, probably just for the sake of the dramatic beat, but then his face scrunched up and he put down the cup. "… inconvenience him, I believe."

After that, he proceeded to pile half a dozen sugar cubes into his cup, and… seriously? At that point, it was no longer tea, but liquid diabetes!

Ignoring my internal outrage, Savir let out a harrumph and pointed at the blonde ex-director.

"I told you; I wasn't blackmailing Polemos! It was a mutually beneficial agreement!"

"Is that how you decided to frame it after the fact?" I inquired, making her twitch and turn her attention back to me.

"The past is in the past, so let it stay there, and focus on the future," she proclaimed, trying her best to sweep the topic under the rug. "Please, hear me out. We can all agree that Bel of the Tenebrous Flames is currently the greatest threat to Elysium, right?"

Before I could respond, Mensah cut in with some gusto.

"Precisely! He's a menace, and there's no doubt that once the news of his return spreads, he'll rally the forces of the Abyss against us!"

"Calm down, Dolion," Tsephanyah butted in while elegantly mixing his vaguely tea-flavoured sugary water with a tiny silver spoon. "Even if he does so, as long as they are sealed within their realm, they pose no threat to our people."

"You must never underestimate them, Acacious!" the youngest ex-director argued back maybe a tad too vehemently. "And we absolutely mustn't underestimate Bel of the Tenebrous Flames! There's no telling what the Houses of the Abyss could be capable of with their Emperor at the helm!"

"Let them have their Emperor. We have our Archons." Tsephanyah flashed an imperceptible smile, as if proud of this comeback, and took a sip, only to…

Wot, mate? Are you serious? Are you seriously putting more bloody sugar in that cup? What are you? Six!?

Just before I was about to blow my lid, Savir lost her patience first and raised her voice.

"And that's precisely why Polemos and…" She paused to swallow. "Her Grace Deus must not suffer and distractions. I believe we can all agree on that."

"Certainly," Mensah responded and turned back to the blonde man. "But back to what we just talked about, you know that defending the peace of Elysium is best achieved by eliminating its enemies abroad before they could—"

"No, let's not go back to that, and focus on the important topic," Savir interrupted him, and if looks could kill, the bespectacled man would've been dead three times over by now. "Namely, that completely dismantling the government would no doubt inconvenience Polemos, and by extension, Her Grace Deus."

I just noticed, but she was giving Angie the full honorific treatment, while I was 'just' Polemos. Was there a reason for that, I wondered even as she suddenly switched her demeanour and lowered her head.

"Once again, I implore you to reconsider your decision. By stripping us of our titles and positions, it will undoubtedly result in more distractions in the future."

"And pray tell, just what makes you think that?"

I tried to sound provocative, and it worked, because her brows immediately descended into a frown.

"For example, have you considered the power vacuum?" When I didn't respond right away, she must've felt vindicated, as she doubled down on the spot. "Without the three of us maintaining control, I can guarantee that subversive elements will see this as an opportunity to rise in the ranks. It will result in the kind of schemes and ploys you find so annoying. Defamation, kidnappings, assassinations… I can assure you, they will happen, and they will be very inconvenient for your efforts to consolidate your power."

I waited for her to finish, and when she had nothing else to say, I nodded.

"You're one hundred percent correct."

"Am I?"

She blinked at me in a mixture of surprise and apprehension, not in a million years expecting me to just agree with her like that. Of course, she was right to be suspicious, because that wasn't the whole picture.

"Yes. And that's why I'm not 'demoting' you, but 'promoting' you. I thought we were clear on that." She was eminently baffled by my statement, so I exhaled a long and audibly dissatisfied breath and shifted my demeanour back to 'disappointed principal' mode. "Listen, Eris. We both know there's no love lost between us, and I would like nothing more than to just lock you up somewhere out of sight and throw the keys into the ocean. Sadly, as you have expertly pointed out, doing so would result in more problems than it would solve, because even if I dissolve the Directorate, its entrenched culture of chronic backstabbing disorder won't change overnight."

"And as such, Lord Polemos intends to bestow this honorary position upon us to avoid creating a power vacuum," Tsephanyah interjected smugly the moment I took a breath. "Wise."

To punctuate the word, he took a sip from his cup and seemed rather pleased with himself. Or at least I hoped that was the case, and not that he was enjoying that thing in his cup. Oh, sweet mother of mercy, I can't ever let this man meet Sebastian. It would be a bloodbath…

Meanwhile, Savir's eyes were thundering as she turned to the man.

"Acacius! On whose side are you!?"

"The side of Elysium, as always," the blonde ex-director responded smugly. "Also, I believe I told you a while ago that I would recommend riding the high tide rather than sinking while struggling against the waves. Like it or not, the tide is here."

"You can't be serious," she muttered, but when he remained steadfast, her gaze soon turned to the other ex-director. "Dolion?"

"While I'm not happy about how things transpired, I think you're correct." For a second, Savir's expression eased up, thinking at least Mensah was on her side, only to wither once more when he continued. "The safety of Elysium is of the utmost importance, and we can't allow the Lord Archon and Her Grace to be distracted at this crucial juncture by the ambitions of our short-sighted brethren. All things considered, an advisory position from which we can keep them in line sounds reasonable."

"No, it categorically isn't," Savir hissed, holding her head. "Weren't you listening?! We'll be stripped of all our titles! All of our authorities! How is that in any way reasonable!?"

"Since that was technically a question…" I cut in before she could get any more worked up. "Let me answer you. Your central argument is that depriving you of your authority would lead to a situation where I would have to face unnecessary disruptions and annoyances in the future. In return, let me ask you this: how would that be any different than what happened while you were in power?"

"But…"

"When I said that the Directorate suffers from an entrenched case of chronic backstabbing disorder, it also applied to you. Yes, all three of you." I paused to let that sink in and swept my arm out in a lazy wave at them. "You're the kind of people who, when I tell you 'Don't concern yourself with this thing', would pinpoint focus on it because you would think it might give you some political advantage. Then, if I told you, 'You should focus on this thing instead of that other thing', you would think I'm trying to use reverse psychology on you and do the exact opposite of what I said, hoping to discover some kind of ploy you could use against me in the future. Am I correct, or not?"

"It's…" Tsephanyah paused, and after his eyes lingered on Savir for a few seconds, he let out a soft sigh. "It's as you say, Lord Polemos."

"What?!" she exclaimed with self-righteous indignation, realizing what just happened whole Mensah let out a thoughtful hum.

"To be fair, Eris, isn't that more or less what happened when you suspected a connection between the Lord Archon and Bel of the Tenebrous Flames?"

Stifling a groan, I rubbed the corner of my forehead.

"Yes, Dolion. That was exactly what I was alluding to."

"Oh…"

Feeling awkward, the ex-director with the glasses shrunk back and fiddled with his toga, while Savir practically deflated after her shameful (if also recent) blunder was brought into the limelight again.

"Lord Polemos? Just one minor objection, if I may," Tsephanyah drew my attention back to him, and he cleared his throat. "I believe there is a small compromise that would potentially speed up these negotiations."

The words 'These aren't negotiations, I'm just stating my terms' were on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed them and waited to see where he was going with this. When I gestured for him to continue, the man sat up straight in his seat and took a deep breath.

"If I may, I would recommend you to allow Eris to maintain her position as the Matriarch of the Cult of Deus." The woman on the left blinked when she heard that, but Tsephanyah's eyes were locked onto mine, so he probably didn't see it. "It was technically never a position within the Directorate's hierarchy, to begin with. More of a ceremonial post, with no true authority, but I believe Eris is particularly attached to it."

"I'm not particularly attached! It is my rightful station for life!"

While she was complaining, I couldn't help but hear a hint of hesitation in her voice. Maybe she really was partial to that title. Or maybe all she wanted was a small concession, to nurse her injured ego.

"If I permitted that, would you stop complaining?"

"These aren't complaints but rightful objections!" she barked back, but as they say, the dog that barks rarely bites. While that phrase didn't make much sense to me, I had to admit, it described the current situation very well, as after the first outburst, she added, "However, I would find this particular promotion less painful, yes."

"I object." All eyes turned to Mensah, and he stood his ground, even in front of Savir's venomous glare. "If Eris is receiving preferential treatment after being the chief instigator behind Monday's events, it will undermine the prestige and authority of the Lord Archon. As such, I propose that we all get to keep at least one relevant title or none at all."

"Dolion, please," Tsephanyah groaned with fingers on his forehead. "You know well that neither of us holds any ceremonial positions like Eris does."

"I object to that too." Apparently, he decided this hill was worth dying for, so I just let him finish. "While the head of the Cult of Deus possesses no direct policymaking power, it's a position of influence bar none. From the lectern, Eris could easily sway public opinion."

"I would never!" Savir denied it, but she must've realized I put little weight on her words, because she turned to me and pleaded. "I would never use the holy mass to instigate against your divinity, Polemos."

"In point of fact, feel free to do so," I blurted out without much meaning behind it, but when I saw her expression, I immediately pointed at her. "Don't move a muscle!" Then, I hastily turned to the other two. "Look at her. See that look in her eyes? This is precisely what I was talking about. You can clearly see that she's already contemplating whether I'm trying to use reverse psychology on her and if she should spite me by exalting me in front of the masses, or do the opposite to see how I would react and if she could get away with it. I tell you, this is endemic, and it's the reason why your whole government and society needs to change."

Savir opened and closed her mouth a couple of times like a fish out of water, but it was Mensah who spoke up next, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose in the process.

"I… shall not argue with the Lord Archon, but it does not change our conundrum. If Eris is allowed to retain the position, then it will lead to a perceived inequality that will damage the Lord Archon's reputation."

I didn't really give a damn about that, and I was also getting tired of this argument, so on a whim, I simply told them, "In that case, all of you can have that position."

"But…"

Before Mensah could object, I held up a hand.

"I don't care. At one point, there were three Archons, so there's no reason why there couldn't be three heads of this Cult of Deus. This way, there won't be any talks of favouritism, and you can keep an eye on each other if you want." I paused and looked them over with a lazily drifting gaze. "Not that you need to. I'll be keeping a close eye on you, and if you don't behave yourselves and cause more trouble than it's worth to keep you around…"

 I purposefully didn't finish that sentence. Not only because I really didn't have much else other than 'more house arrest' in mind at the moment, but because I was sure that if I let their imaginations run wild, they would be much more effective at coming up with potential punishments. I hoped that would keep them in line at least until I could sort out the majority of our problems.

"I… admit I am not cut out of the clergy, but if Lord Polemos requires it, I'm willing to follow your command."

Tsephanyah followed that up with a shallow bow without getting up from his seat, while Mensah only nodded. I turned my attention to Savir for last, and after a brief stalemate, she let out an oddly juvenile huff and threw her hair back.

"These terms are… acceptable."

I would've once again liked to point out that whether she accepted it or not had little effect on the proceedings, but I decided against it. The whole point of this solution was to ease her bruised ego so that she wouldn't get up to some braindead mischief when I was looking elsewhere, so there was no reason to antagonize her any more. At least until she inevitably did something stupid again, but I'd let future me worry about that. Now she got her carrot; the stick had to wait.

"Your new stations should be announced early next week, after which you'll be officially free to give advice to me and Deus whenever we are in the Elysium. Otherwise, you'll just hang around, show your face in public to make sure the aspiring ladder climbers stay put, and don't get up to any idiotic stunts. Understood?"

"Yes, Lord Archon," Mensah answered before his peers, and just as I considered this conversation concluded, he threw me a curveball by asking, "So if I understand this right, you are currently reforming the government?"

"Indeed. The elections should be held before the end of spring."

"I see, I see. In that case, does that mean that the Directorate's authority is nullified?" I nodded. "Which, I presume, also extends to any and all matters previously handled by the Directorate's governing body, right?" I nodded again, this time I little more hesitantly. I was sure he was leading me somewhere, but I had no idea what he had in mind. At least, until he outright said it. "If so, the new government would need to draft a brand new yearly budget! Lord Archon, I strongly advise you that, in light of our inevitable conflict with the Abyss led by Bel of the Tenebrous flames, we set aside the necessary funds to unify and modernise our fragmented military branches and start a rearmament program!"

"Now, hold on for a moment…" I interjected, only to be overshadowed by Savir raising her voice.

"Yes, hold your horses, Dolion! At this moment, the most vital thing is to reform the Celestial Intelligence Network! We not only need our eyes and ears out there, but we must also ensure to gather intel and leverage on the relevant third parties to ensure their support in case of an armed conflict."

"With all due respect, I think you're putting the cart before the horse," Tsephanyah interjected with a deadpan sentence and slowly shook his head. "Soon, voting rights will be granted to all of our Celestial brethren. Before worrying about any external threats, we should make sure to properly educate and prepare them for the changes in governance, for the internal stability of Elysium is pivotal for our future."

"Nonsense!" Mensah scoffed and crossed his arms. "We can worry about all that once we have won the war!"

"I'm telling you, there's no need for us to wage war, to begin with! We must prioritize our intelligence agencies and form a diplomatic corps as soon as possible! We must give the dragonblooded and the wingless ones the impression, at the very least, that we are willfully cooperating with them. That way, we can let them bear the brunt of the conflict while we prepare."

"Please, stop this," Tsephanyah raised a palm, sounding especially stern, followed by an exasperated groan. "We are forgetting the most important element of this discussion." I was waiting for him to say it, but instead, he just looked at me.

"That's right," Savir nodded with a hint of approval and also stared at me. "What is your opinion on the distribution of the realm's budget, Polemos?"

…

Oh god, what did I get myself into…?